Man And Woman Are Not Equals
The gender equality debate proliferates the global rubric. The feminist agenda is to prove that women are equal to men.
Let me be clear first up, I believe in gender diversity. I believe that all genders — men, women and others — have a right to equal opportunities. I agree that women have long been oppressed in a male dominated society and have found little to no outlet for self-expression. It makes sense to me to fight for the right for education, employment, pay or anything that affords a decent living to every human being, regardless of gender.
Why Compare?
Saying that men and women are equal is absurd.
When you say equal, you compare. How is it possible to compare two beings who are born different?
Hell, why is there a need to compare at all?
Why is it not possible for our generation to understand, accept and respect the differences between a man and a woman? Why does a woman have to be equal to a man or vice-versa to command equal respect?
I got into a debate on this topic on the internet with some fiercely “feminist” Indian women (I am too). Having a conversation with them made me feel like I’m probably anti-feminism. Even though I am FAR from it.
The point I raised and which got me into this debate was my statement that women are predisposed to nurture. Some women took it as an offense. I certainly didn’t mean any, though. My statement derived completely from the physiological aspects which show women are designed to nurture. This has nothing to do with anti-feminism or gender stereotypes since it is a naturally occurring phenomenon.
That said, feminism for me means getting equal opportunities for women or even other genders, despite the differences. I strongly believe that men and women aren’t the same and hence, it is preposterous to compare.
Men And Women Are Unique
The uniqueness derives from the biological and physiological differences that nature has blessed them with.
A woman menstruates. A man does not. How can we expect corporations to understand us during those difficult (arduous for some) days, if we propose that we are equal to men? However, this is not to say a woman is any less capable, for all one knows, she might be better than four men combined when not on her periods (or even then!!).
A man provides the seed, whereas a woman nurtures it until it takes the shape of a beautiful baby and even after that.
A woman can carry a baby, and nurture it both, within her womb and outside. A man can never do that. How can we expect employers to understand pregnancy and its demands on a woman’s body if we keep harping that men and women are equal? While the joy of holding a baby is great for both the parents, the woman has to go through the task of carrying one. While men getting paternity leave is a boon, because come-on, ladies do need all the extra help they can get during the pre- and postpartum period! They need extra care and they need to get pampered. But, paternity leave is still a luxury for a woman. Maternity leave, on the other hand, is not. It is a basic need.
So, while the woman is designed by nature to nurture, a man is physiologically stronger, thereby having the ability to protect. Neither task is less important and neither of the two beings is less important. However, since men and women are designed differently, they must have certain different qualities and responsibilities which help create a balance in the system of the universe.
Blurring Boundaries
Technological advancements have led to the blurring of boundaries between the physical capabilities of the two genders (those who identify themselves as other gender types are not under the purview of this debate — however, they do come under the gender diversity dialogue). Now, women, if equipped with the necessary knowledge and skill, can deliver equally on any kind of task.
Hence, there can be a dialogue around equality of skill and the opportunities to hone them. Every human being, irrespective of their gender — male, female or others — must have access to similar opportunities. Getting in — whether into a college or a job — then, must depend upon the skill set and talent. Getting paid must have the same criterion.
Developing skill sets or talents is independent of gender but definitely requires resources. This is where the debate or the stress on equality must lie. There must be equal means available for ALL who wish to learn or hone their skills and talents.
Accept And Respect Yourself For Who You Are First
True equality lies in the sense of acceptance and being at peace with your own being. Acceptance of your latent or inherent nature — whether it is to nurture or to protect.
To try to bring equality between genders is, to me, going against the fabric of nature. It can only create a tear in the fabric.
Being born as a woman or as a man is not of your choosing. But accepting it, is.
Ancient wisdom (if you don’t believe in it, don’t read any further) suggests there are two kinds of energy in the entire universe — male and female or yang and yin or purush and prakriti. These energies cannot be compared because they are unique. They are complements of each other which make a beautiful whole, and without one, the other does not exist. Man and woman are simply a manifestation of these energies and it is important that we accept and respect ourselves as such.
Somewhere in the debate I came across the requirement of raising gender agnostic children. And I was like, really? But why?
Why can’t a girl be just a girl and still have all the growth opportunities at her feet? Similarly, for boys.
Instead of raising gender agnostic children, isn’t it more relevant to raise kids who understand and respect gender differences and requirements?
Wouldn’t it be more helpful if your son knew, understood and respected your menstrual cycle and your mood-swings thereof, instead of simply being neutral towards it? Wouldn’t such a son be able to respect women in general a lot more for what they face every month?
Wouldn’t it be awesome if your teenage girl could understand the identity crisis her teenage brother is going through, instead of being skeptical of his behavior?
Why must a child be raised to be gender agnostic instead of being able to embrace their own gender? Why must he or she feel at a loss about their gender identity? Also, wouldn’t they be better off at creating inter-gender relationships if they know exactly who they are instead of being neutral to gender differences? Knowing who they are would give them a sense of strong grounding from which would emerge a strong personality rooted in the reality of their physical existence.
Of course, there are individuals who grow up confused about the reality of their existence because they feel trapped in certain physical limitations. They also deserve equal opportunities in the social ladder of success and life in general.
However, equal opportunities does not directly imply equal beings because you really can’t compare chalk with cheese or a circle with a square.
Man and woman are complements who help complete the circle of life.
It’s a male dominated world where the female is raring to surge ahead, and she shall; but not by declaring equality, instead by having control over her existence.
P.S. ~ Views expressed are my own and any dissent is wholeheartedly accepted.
